Ghosts of love’s past

Yesterday, 06/28, marked two years that my ex and I have been broken up. They say time heals all wounds. But I beg to differ. Time let’s you get accustomed to new circumstances, it let’s you continue living, minimizing the urges and intensities of your emotions. But it doesn’t heal all wounds. It has been 2 years that I have been single. All this time, I have felt that I have been single partly by choice, partly because men have been replaced with fuck boys these days, partly because romance doesn’t exist. In reality I have been single, because my heart still beats to the rhythm of my ex. The seconds may pass, the weeks may pass, the months may pass. But inside, I love him with the same passion that I did back when we first kissed.

I am starting to wonder, if this will be it for me? Will I not be able to form new relationships because I can’t seem to stop loving someone of my past. It has been two years, and even after all this time, I can close my eyes at certain places, and see our interaction, hear our laughter, and feel his touch. Some memories aren’t that clear anymore and I start to freak out a little bit. But they are felt in my heart none the less.

Fast Forward to the Present:

I wrote this a very, very long time ago, and I’m only sharing this now because since then, I ended up encountering plenty more failed dates, but I also ended up falling in love again. A love that was a lot stronger than I ever felt with the ex of whom I had written this about. Now that ex is non existent in my life and my emotions. I hardly think of him, except for the times that I find myself in places that we had once frequented. But even then it is a very distant memory that arises no detrimental negative or positive emotions. The person with whom I ended up falling madly in love with after my ex has also now become another ex. And though I think of him a bit more often, especially with all of my daily snap chat reminders of a year ago that I have with him, it is also not significantly important in my life. With that said, this post is more to show that with time you can and will overcome any romantic losses that you encounter in life. The way you handle it is what determines how you move forward. When I wrote this back then, I was still dwelling on the past. I had memories of that relationship all over my apartment, my phone, my social media, and constantly kept wanting to know about what he was up to. I had decided one day that enough was enough. I decided to clean up any memories of him, and shortly after, I locked eyes with someone else and it was the perfect love affair from that moment on. I am a huge believer that changing your thoughts is the first step in changing your behavior and manifesting what you desire. I also stopped obsessing about my age, and measuring my life to others. I kept seeing people around me get engaged and married and felt pressure that I needed to have that as well. Once I let go of that feeling, I freed myself. I have met tons of wonderful people since both of these relationships ended, I have had no particular interest in anything serious or long term because I am more focused on becoming who I know I am meant to be. I am positive that eventually I will end up in love again, but that time will be different, because I will have a clear understanding of who I am.

So here are the key points that I want you to take away from this post:

  1. Heartbreak hurts temporarily.
  2. Clear your space of all the vibes from your past.
  3. Be more infatuated with loving yourself.
  4. Enjoy the company of others without having to put so much stress on where it is going, things will go down the path they are meant to. In the meantime, you can learn something from that person and/or yourself.
  5. Change your mind, change your life.

 

XOXO,

Paris in NYC

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *