I laid there, wide eyed, heart racing, dry mouthed, wondering why it had taken this long to experience my first orgasm.
I looked at the chiseled specimen of a man that had just finally been able to make me reach orgasm. He was muscular beyond belief, every inch of his body with not even one inch of fat. His perfect body followed by an even more perfectly symmetrical face. Alluring eyes, high cheek bones, pouty succulent lips, and a chiseled jaw line. His teeth spaced out a bit, which made his smile so playful and endearing.
I consider myself a 10/10, my body is soft, not really tone, due to years of going hard at the gym, followed by months of slacking and eating carelessly after my short term goal had been met. I wasn’t out of shape, but I wasn’t in shape either. Definitely not on his level. At times, I let insecurity get the worse of me and I would wonder how did I get so lucky to have this man be interested in me to give me the time of day. Let’s face it, he has no issues with women, they throw themselves at him, he admitted to probably having had sex with over 200 woman in his 30 years of life so far. Sex wasn’t what he was with me for. Neither was a relationship, as he had been recently broken hearted by a woman he deeply loves. Maybe I was a rebound? Nonetheless, I had just had the best sex experience of my life and whatever role I was to play in his life for the short term, I was willing to accept it if the sex continued to be such an out of this world experience.
I have had sex a lot, quite honestly more than a lot of woman that I know. I am extremely sexual and don’t see sex as a negative stigma. If men are celebrated for having tons of partners, why should women be devalued? Am I not allowed to explore my sexuality free of judgment? However, even through all my experiences, I have a very short lists of maybe 3 individuals in which I consider to be absolutely amazing. But Stefan had just surpassed them and top the charts in a way that I don’t think another individual will be able to top. Sadly so, because I know this is short lived. Where will this leave me when all of this is done? Comparing my next partners to him, being unsatisfied, and again not being able to orgasm?
What makes him so good you may ask? Is it his flawless looks? Is it the size of his penis? Is it the way his body feels on mine? The kisses from his lips that instantly makes a river flow between my legs? All of that adds to it, but sex with Stefan is a performance, a show, full of entertainment in which all of your senses are engaged. For the moment, time does not exist, your problems don’t exist, it’s just you and him and the cravings of your bodies unite.
“I got you red wine, with some cheese, like you asked”
He had picked me up from my apartment, I usually drive, but he had insisted, and so I had given in to femininity. I am alpha female, and I always want to do everything myself. He lived literally 12 minutes away, proximity.
He had poured me a glass of wine, had turned off the lights, but had turned on the LED lights he had placed behind the TV and around the edges of a huge mirror that hung on the wall in place of a headboard on top of his bed. A mirror that I would soon come to love, as I watched the sensual way in which he took me to the moon.
We had engaged in conversation, talking to him was never superficial. He had profound emotions and thoughts and he was very expressive of them. After 2 hours, we had gone through the bottle of wine and the cheese, had talked enough, and he picked me up from his couch and carried me to the bed. Placed me down gently as the show was about to start. He turned on the TV and played The Weeknd soundtrack on YouTube. If you are a fan of The Weeknd you know there is no better playlist than Trilogy to set the mood.
He slowly climbed on the bed, on top of me, and kissed my lips in the most sensual way at first, then passionately, his tongue tasting the inside of every cell of my mouth. He gave me wet kisses, not the overwhelming kind that feels nasty, but the kind that makes you just as wet between your legs. He nibbled on my ear and traced his tongue down to my neck, slowly bit my neck as he made his way down to my breast, he took one out and slowly licked and sucked on my nipples. Then he did the same to the other one, he lifted my tank top up and traced his tongue down my belly towards my vagina. He pulled my pants off completely; he was at the foot of the bed by now. He grabbed my foot, and put my toe in his mouth, licking and sucking it while occasionally looking up at me and making eye contact. My senses had heightened, my back had arched, it had been so long since someone did that to me. If you have had your toes sucked, you know that the pleasure you feel from it is out of this world, it sends a tingle down your leg, all the way to your vagina and down your back. My head was bent up, chin towards the ceiling, as I was gripping the sheets with my hands, by the time I looked back at him, he had put both my toes in his mouth, staring at me with eyes full of desire. I felt like the lamb and he was the wolf about to slaughter me.
He traced his tongue back up my leg and licked along my inner thighs, getting closer to my vagina, but not fully giving me what I wanted. He was teasing me and I loved it, the anticipation was killing me. The build up is what makes all the difference in sex. I was terrified and exhilarated all at the same time about what was to happen in the next few hours. In one quick swift move he had lifted both my legs off the bed straight up in the air only shoulders left on the bed, and he was tenderly kissing me, making out with Penelope as if she was the only one in the world. Moans escaped me, ecstasy enveloped me. I couldn’t believe how good it felt. I have never been a woman in love with oral sex, but that night I realized that I had never had a man do it in a way that I enjoyed it.
He laid me down, came around the side of the bed and bent over to kiss my lips while he inserted a finger in Penelope, thumb rotating my clit, making me open my eyes as much as I could. By this point I didn’t even know what to do with myself, and the night was still young. Every part of my body felt alive, I had never felt so in tune with my own self. Stefan loved to please and he continued this for quite some time, having the perfect rhythm between slow movements and fast ones, it’s as if he knew exactly what my body wanted at each precise moment. When I felt I couldn’t take any more pleasure, he stopped, grabbed me like a doll and turned me around; he put me on all fours. I was so impressed by his dominant nature, I loved how feminine he made me feel, how he took charge, and how submissive I was willing to be. He licked Penelope from behind, such a different feeling, and licked his way up to my butt. His tongue pulsing in and out of a forbidden place, how kinky I felt, the more he did it, the more I wanted it. I knew at this point that he would put it in. But shockingly he didn’t.
Instead he made me lay down on my belly, lighted a candle, he dripped the hot strawberry scented oil from the candle on my back and gave me a massage. The burning sensation followed by his soothing hands working their way from my shoulders all the way down my back was relaxing. He did this until he had touched every part of my body; I was ready to take a nap, all excitement having left me as I was in a state of tranquility. Stefan had other plans for me, he kissed the side of my neck, licked and nibble on it, kissed my back, as he slid his fingers inside me, my body automatically reacting in wetness, awakening again the dormant beast inside me.
He asked me to stand on my knee , my back facing his chest, I was staring at myself in the mirror on his wall, he was also kneeling up behind me, one hand continuing to pleasure me and the other one holding my neck. He was watching me, his eyes locking with mine through the reflection, passion running wild in both our expressions. At that moment I knew that he had changed my life, I would never think of sex the same, my standards had now been increased. For years I have always fought with my sexual desire to explore, wanting to try new things, but finding myself with partners that lacked sex drive, that were prudish and too vanilla. I had to convince myself that I could deal with the dissatisfaction because they checked off most of the items on my list and I was in love, that the fantasies that ran through my head were sinful and I shouldn’t indulge in them. I would leave those ideas a secret between my imagination and my vibrator. But on that bed, while he looked deep into my soul, I knew that I would never be able to compromise on sex ever again. We are human and as long as we practice it safely, we should enjoy it to the fullest. He tilted my head and kissed me never stopping the movement of his fingers.
He laid me down on my back and went to his closet to get pieces of cloths. He held my hand and extended my arm to the side of the bed, he pulled out rope that he had tied to his bed. I had not even noticed that it was there, he wrapped the cloths around my wrist and tied the rope in a tight knot. He repeated the same process for my other arm as well as around both ankles. I was laying there completely at his mercy. Had another guy done this, I would have freaked out, losing all control is out of character for me, but I had met Stefan through a close friend and I trusted him. He kissed me again and gave me a naughty smile, I couldn’t tell if he enjoyed my reactions or if he enjoyed the fact that he knew exactly how I would react to every move. He licked my clit, sucking it gently, then harder, then gently, the inconsistency driving me crazy. I just wanted him inside of me at this point; I wanted to feel his girth. He fingered me again, this time with more speed than before at the same time stimulating my clit. I was becoming too aroused, I was reaching that climax feeling that I knew too well, the part where I always pushed guys away or asked them to stop. It was the top of the hill that I could never get myself over because I always needed to be in so much control. However, now I was powerless. I couldn’t speak, the sounds escaping my lips were moans, I shook my head trying to communicate that I needed him to stop, that I couldn’t do it. But instead he firmly placed his hand on my chest to pin me to the bed, and continued. For the first time in my life, my whole body trembled, a tingling sensation washing over me, his fingers feeling slippery. I had just experienced an orgasm. How could I have been living all these years without experiencing this?
He untied me and now that he had pleased me, he was ready for the main performance. He got on top and it hurt so much when he entered his penis inside me. He was by far the biggest and thickest I have ever had. Magnum XL condoms barely fit him. He fucked me really good, switching positions every few strokes. My favorite being laying sideways on the bed as if I was in a fetal position, while he knelt perpendicular to me and inserted his penis.
Sex with Stefan was a performance every time. But all good things come to an end, I was okay with it because at least I got to enjoy my sexuality fully with no judgments or guilt. Where has this left me? Celibacy. I no longer care to give my time and energy unless I know it is going to be fulfilling. I am emotional being and I need to have a connection, feel like the person that I am sharing my temple with is worthy of it. Someone that is going to worship me and respect me even when I am not by their side, to me that is of the utmost importance.